Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
