Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
