Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
