Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
