You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
