i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My ATM looks so different sober.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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