Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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