There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
