Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
