Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Enjoy the penises
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize