nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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