the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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