pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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