Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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