Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
