would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
