I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
We need to rekindle our bromance
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
