Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
