i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
