what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
