we made out on top of his cat.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Randomize