The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
