$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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