i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
