She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
