OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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