I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
