Capitaan dildo arrescate!
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
