I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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