my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize