dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
