Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
