Umm I'm too high to move.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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