he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I just found puke in my bra..
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
