I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Randomize
