I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
