woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
