I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize