Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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