I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
