the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
