Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
As shirtless as possible
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
