Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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