Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The air was thick with penises
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
That's how pantless uber rides happen
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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