i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
