also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
