I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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