Whod you bang
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
