My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
