I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Please don't give away my fajitas
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
