You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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