So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
