If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize