I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
