My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
