i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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