My boss' voice literally gives me gas
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
just found out that she named her cat after me.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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