..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
