Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i drank out of a bidet.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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