he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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