I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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