dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
