Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
