I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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