I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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