Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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