Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
