i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
